Should You Wait Until the Kids are Older to Get Divorced?

If you are unhappy with your marriage, should you talk with a divorce lawyer in Scottsdale right away, or should you wait until your kids are older? This is a very common question. Many people are concerned about the impact that a divorce could have on their kids. This can leave parents wondering if they are better off waiting until children get older. 

There are pros and cons to both options, so you need to think carefully about what a divorce will mean for both you and for your children. You should talk with Singer Pistiner, P.C. to find out how custody rules work in Arizona as well, so you will have a better idea of what will happen to your kids if you decide that you don’t wish to stay married.

Advantages of Waiting Until Kids Get Older

There are some distinct advantages to waiting until your children get older before you decide to end your marriage. One of the biggest benefits of waiting is that your kids have more time with parents in the same house. This can be important during their formative years and help children build stronger bonds with both parents in the traditional nuclear family setting.

Raising younger children is also hard work, and very labor intensive, so it may be better for you to have a partner in the house to help you with the kids even if you no longer have a strong marriage.

When kids are older, they can also better understand what is going on with their parents and the reason for the disruption to their life routine. If you wait until your children go to college, then you will cause the least disruption in their lives since you’ll be in the same home during the entire time they are growing up. At the same time, it will be a big adjustment for kids to get used to having separated or divorced parents if their parents have been married over the child’s whole life.

Disadvantages of Waiting Until Kids Get Older

While there are benefits to waiting until a child gets older to end a marriage, there are also some very significant downsides as well. One of the biggest is that you and your ex will have to continue to live in an unhappy marriage.

By waiting until your children get older, you spend more years of your life in a situation that is not meeting your needs. You could be foreclosing the possibility of finding a partner who you would be happier with. There is also a bigger risk of infidelity when a couple stays married only for the kids and the spouses are not happy together.

If you and your partner are not getting along, there is likely to be tension and arguing in the home, which can have a big impact on your children. Your unhappiness can also affect the way you parent in adverse ways, making it harder for you to provide the things that your children need. Two unhappy parents living in the same household is not better for kids than two happy parents in stable, loving relationships but living separately.

Waiting longer to get a divorce can also make it harder in some ways for kids to adjust to the new phase of life that occurs after a marriage ends, because they are so used to their parents being married. If you get divorced with young kids, they may not remember what life was like before the divorce so it will not be as big of an issue for them to adjust to having their parents living separately since that is the only life they will ever remember.

Getting Help from A Divorce Lawyer in Scottsdale

Ultimately, the decision of whether to get divorced as soon as you are unhappy or to wait until your children get older is a very personal choice that you will have to make. There are benefits and disadvantages to both options and you need to make a determination based on what you believe is best for you and best for your family. A divorce lawyer in Scottsdale can help you to understand the divorce process and to determine what type of parenting plan would likely be best for your family so you will have the information you need to make a choice.

If you decide you want to end your marriage, our legal team will be here to help you. You can learn more about the divorce process if you download our free divorce guide and you can give us a call at (480) 418-7011 or contact us online to talk with an attorney who can assist you with ending your marriage.


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